Well shit...

Was hoping for better news from the folks in St. Louis, but the following is the text of my brother-in-law's latest email on my mother-in-law's condition on her lymphoma with mets to the brain:

Mom has no use of her legs now. Her left side is especially weak. There is more confusion. Appetite, cardio-resp are fine. She is home-bound until we figure out transportation service.

Home care nurse Melody came over today and was real helpful. She explained hospice care and skilled care and their limitations. She recommended getting a prognosis from Dr. Van A -even by phone(which I did today). She had Mom choose whether she wanted hospice care yet ('not yet, thank you'), and she explained what we need and how to get it (wheel chair and gate belt)-which we have now.

I missed Dr Van A's call, but he left voicemail and then talked to Cindy also. He said "the prognosis is not good and you should probably get hospice care." And he added to Cindy he would talk with Dr B to see whether radiation is worthwhile- weighing quality of life against improving survival chances I guess...

Mom's spirits are pretty good...she still wants to take the family out to Rizzo's (restaurant), run out to WalMart to get items, and does not realize/accept how dire her situation is...
I think she is beginning to realize, and it is getting her down...I try to be direct and open with her, but don't want to crush her hopes with this...

any thoughts?
Cindy and Ashley are awesome.
thanks, and love,

What's a devoted daughter-in-law to do? This sucks. It really sucks. I have the best mother-in-law in the world and she doesn't deserve this. Never smoked a cigarette, never had a drink and still belted down her milk with her evening meals...not to mention her daily exercise and energizer bunny devotion to chores. Oh, and on a first name basis with God. Seriously, if you were to adopt some kind of positive karmic lifestyle to ward off evil diseases, this woman is the poster child. Evil, evil disease.

Thursday and Friday in Maine

Thursday dawned bright and sunny as promised. After breakfast we headed over to the White Mountains of New Hampshire. It was time to attempt the Mount Washington road. First stop was a little pull out on the Swift River off the Kancamagus highway. A beautiful spot, if only a little out of our way. Had tried to find the West Side Highway around North Conway. Ended up having to route back through, but the side trip had been worth it.


Finally found our way to Mt. Washington and without a single hesitation drove on in and paid our fare to drive up. And what a drive it was. The road winds up 8 miles and 6,000 feet. To say it's steep and winding is an understatement. Fortunately, the caretakers managed to put quite a few turnouts along the way, so there was a respite from the white knuckle road trip.

We did finally make it to the top. The views on the way up were spectacular...although I should have kept my eyes on the road. It began to get a little dizzying towards the top where there are switchbacks and sheer drop offs...just a tad disconcerting. We found a nice fellow traveler in the parking lot to get a picture of all the girls in one shot. A tour around the top included a trip to the gift shop (of course!) and a look see in the Tip Top Hotel. We were in and out of clouds for much of the visit, but managed a few moments of clarity and got someone to take a picture of Marilin, Les and Kathy at the summit marker. I kept looking around for someone advertising to do the return drive for a fee, but alas, there were no takers. I kept my eyes peeled to the road on the trip down. Doesn't pay to look over the side in those dizzying circumstances. Got a quick lunch at the bottom then off to North Conway and Cathedral Ledge.

Cathedral Ledge is a lovely overlook that you can drive or hike to. We opted to drive. The views from Cathedral Ledge are spectacular. There is also a view of the climbers...this being a popular climbing spot. The sign behind Gladys reminds people not to throw anything over the edge to avoid hitting the climbers. One would think you wouldn't have to tell people that, but oh well...

After the trip to Cathedral Ledge it was time to return to the cabin so we could make our date with Ken's Kove. We had a 6 p.m. lobster pick up time scheduled and we were not going to miss it. We did a Williams' family tradition with all the fixin's at the house and a pick up of steamed lobster. It was deeelish. I did end up haivng to take a quick lie down after we returned. The trip up Mt. Washington had given me a little bit of vertigo. I think the next time I attempt that I'll have to pay someone else to drive me up.

Gladys made a special cocktail for the ladies as a pre-dinner drink. I tried a sip. Tasted a lot like a margarita. The only three ingredients I can remember offhand are: 1 - 12 oz can frozen limeade, thawed; 8 oz tequila and; 1 corona. If I find the recipe I'll post.

Took a nice evening kayak with Kathy. Water was like glass. Quiet evening of reading and off to bed.

Friday was clean up and prepare to depart day. Sure wish we could have stayed longer. Kathy and I took a morning paddle. The lake was still clear as glass and wonderfully soothing. Saw the momma loon and poppa nearby keeping an eye on us.

Maureen, Marilin and Gladys stripped beds and ran laundry. Kathy and I stowed the kayaks and other dock gear. Raked the path to the lake so that others who follow will have an easier trip down the hill. Raked under the clothes lines and in the drive, trying to clear out the accumulation of years of leaves. Once all laundry was done it was time to make one more run into Bridgton. Took the laptop so Gladys and Kathy could print boarding passes at the library. Also wanted to check to make sure that Renys didn't have just one last thing that we couldn't do without. For the uninintiated Reny's is a Maine institution. A variety store stocked with all the basics you might need to furnish a cottage or even your own home if you're a Mainiac. they have a great assortment of seconds and over runs. You can find some great buys pretty cheap here. Managed to find a couple of trinkets. This is the Bridgton Renys which was expanded in 2008.

After all the errands were completed in Bridgton I had a request for ice cream. Well, if you're in Maine there is only one place for ice cream for the Williams clan. That's Shaner's in South Paris. Shaner's has been there for years. Used to be the store front for a local dairy and they make all their own ice cream....and sherbet as I found. So, we hopped in the car and drove over towards Norway and then into South Paris. Found Shaner's and the girls bellied up for ice cream.

Gladys waiting for her peanut butter ice cream and hot fudge sundae. Kathy with her "boring" (her words, not mine) vanilla and strawberry selection.

Marilin with her pistachio over maple walnut cone. Maureen waiting for her hot fudge sundae. I didn't get a picture of mine, but it was a huge serving of homemade orange sherbet. Shaner's comes through again.

On the way back stopped for a picture at the infamous all roads lead to somewhere exotic sign. The cabin is in Sweden, and we shop in Norway, South Paris, Paris and Oxford Hills. There must be a lot about the look of the Maine topography to remind folks of their homes in the old country.

Home to pack and eat up the leftovers. Packed the car and got everything ready for an early (but not too early) morning departure. Gladys was first out of the overpacked car with a flight from Portland on Saturday morning at 9:20. Kathy was next to be dropped at Logan Airport in Boston. Good thing she had a good book for her marathon wait for a 4:00 p.m. flight back to Nashville. Maureen, Les and Marilin made it back to McLean by about 9:00 p.m. and to a tasty dinner of grilled salmon and salad. That Terry is a keeper. All in all a fun week with the girls. Next up: a long weekend October of 2010 at Gladys's house in Patrick County. Wonder if there will be lobster?

Tuesday and Wednesday in Maine

Tuesday dawned clear and it was time to take to the water. I got in the kayak early and paddled around the north end of the lake. Saw two beaver and a pair of loons...with the mom sitting on the nest. She wasn't too happy about my paddling around, so I spent as little time near her as possible. Didn't want to spook her. Don't know as the beaver are such a great thing to see considering the level of damage they can do. Didn't see any obvious signs of dam building.

After breakfast it was time to head into Portland to pick up the fifth member of our group, Gladys, who was coming in for the remainder of the week. Found Gladys without any problems at the jetport. Got directions to the Lobster Shack in Cape Elizabeth just south of Portland. It ended up being a place where I had been with the inlaws and nieces and nephews many years ago. It's obviously a Portland area institution. Weather was a bit rainy so we couldn't sit outside at the picnic tables. The inside was nice, if very busy. Thanks, Maureen, for the lobster treat.

Marilin and Gladys wait patiently for our number to be called.

The lobster is here...time to dig in.

After lunch it's time to visit the cute gift shop beside the Lobster Shack. While I was inside shopping I got the seagull report from the other girls who had been wandering in and out. It seems the weather had cleared enough for some folks to sit outside and eat. One couple had a seagull swoop in and snag their container of fries. It flew to the next table and landed with the food and then was swarmed by the other seagulls. The food was gone in seconds. Apparently the gentleman of the couple was quite annoyed, but the woman had a good laugh over it as did everyone else who was watching.

Interesting yard sculpture in front of the gift shop.

The rocks at the shoreline look like petrified wood.

The girls after a very satisfying lobster lunch.

Next stop was the Portland Head light, another working light house. After a brief stop there it was on to LL Bean.

We did some power shopping. Here is Marilin doing what she does best...shopping and talking on the cell phone to Arthur.

Maureen got a nice watercolor of a Puffin. The art was displayed in the Starbucks around the corner from LL Bean. The artist was called by the Starbucks staff and she hustled over with an original for Maureen. At that point we figured we had made a pretty decent donation to the economy and headed back to the cabin to get Gladys settled in and to have dinner. Marilin and Maureen teamed up on a delicious pork roast with veggies and a salad. Then it was time for more wine and more chatter. You'd think we had solved all the problems of the world by this time, but noooo. Alas, no cards.

Wednesday was a pretty quiet day around the cabin and lake. A little too rainy to go find a decent hike. The weather cleared in the afternoon and Les, Gladys and Marilin took a trip in to Renys. Les decided to make penne pasta with butternut squash. A favorite recipe she found online this winter. Discovered some gluten free pasta at Renys to accommodate Maureen's allergy, and then off to Hanaford's for more ingredients and yet more wine. After dinner Marilin decided she was going to brave the water and kayaking. I had finally figured out how to get into and out of the kayaks from the dock, without ever having to set foot in the chilly Maine lake water. Kathy had figured it out too, so Marilin was convinced it was her turn. We went down to the water and got Marilin all suited up in a life vest and got her into the kayak without incident. Les got in the other one and we headed out towards the north end of the lake. Wanted to take a quick peek at the loon. Marilin had never seen one up close. After showing her how to paddle we set off on a glassy lake for a beautiful ride. All was going well, then we returned to our dock. Marilin came in a little bit too far to just reach out for the dock, so she decided to just scoot over. Well, for those of you who have ever been in a canoe or a kayak you will know that those small vessels don't "scoot" too well. In fact, all you achieve is upsetting the balance and then going ass over teacups into the drink. And that is exactly what Marilin did...with a whoop. She came up gasping (the water is THAT cold) and with her glasses intact on her face, but fogged up rendering her essentially blind. I yelled at her to put her feet down since she was in chest deep water. At least that was a blessing. So, we got her around to the dock stairs and got her on the dock and wrapped in a towel. The girls up at the cabin were in the living room reading, so had missed the ruckus. It was amusing and at least Marilin had a good laugh over it.

Sunday and Monday in Maine

After a brief stop at the Shaw's in Wyndham to pick up lobster rolls for lunch, we mosied west on Route 302, finally arriving at the cabin mid-afternoon. We unloaded, claimed beds and bedrooms, opened shutters and sat down to yummy Maine lobster rolls.

After lunch, a quick trip down to the water was in order. Unloaded the kayaks from the boat house and readied them for our first trip. Then back up the hill to the cabin.

Got together a shopping list and then headed into Bridgton for groceries. First, made a quick stop at The Corn Shop Trading Company. Just needed to boost the economy a little bit. It's one of my favorite shops in Bridgton with very friendly owners and an adorable, friendly dog. One of the best places for souvenirs and gifts in town. Marilin and Kathy picked up some goodies for friends back home.

On to Hannafords for food for a couple of days. We each had a night to cook for everyone. First rule: easy meals and as much lobster as possible. Les kicked off the cooking with some chicken tortilla soup. Perfect for a drizzly cool June evening in the north woods. Followed dinner with a game of manipulation rummy despite Marilin and Kathy's protests. They claim not to be gamers, but if you're in Maine at the Williams cabin, a game or two in the evening is required!

Monday morning greeted us with a little rain. We got the old percolater coffee maker revved up and heated water for tea and plotted our day.

Marilin in the kitchen Kathy on the porch

After breakfast we took a quick trip over to North Conway, New Hampshire to check out the LLBean outlet store and Settler's Green, a whole whopping bunch of outlet shops. Also took the laptop so we could check email. Settler's Green has free wifi and we took advantage of that.

Finished up by late afternoon and drove through Fryeburg in time for Les to do a Weight Watcher's weigh in. Down 2.8lbs for the week. Whoo Hoo! I can maybe have a little butter with my lobster!!

Home and Kathy's night for chicken stir fry. Followed by wine for the wine drinkers and chatting....lots and lots of chatting.

UVA Women Year 8

Way back in 2002 some of my college roommates and I decided to start getting together for an annual reunion. We did the first two in Richmond, which is a somewhat central location. While that was satisfactory, we decided that in order to make it easier on some of our group we would have each person host the group in ensuing years. That meant the host didn't have to travel and since we have no expectations of a clean house there really wasn't much prep work involved. We normally do a long weekend, but this year was different. I talked my dear mother-in-law into letting us use her family cabin in the Maine woods for a week. Here is Reunion 2009:

On Friday, Marilin drove to my house from her friend Jane's farm. I finished packing and we went to Maureen's in McLean for an overnight and to get packed up.

Maureen's husband Terry got some last minute instructions in doggie care (Maureen and Terry have three adorable small dogs) and with the car parked to the gills we took off on Saturday morning for parts north.

From McLean we headed for East Hampton, Mass, home of my Uncle-in-law, Adison Cate. Ad is the widower of my mother-in-law's only sister, Jean, who passed away 2 summers ago. Ad lives in a very nice home in a retirement community that he helped develop in East Hampton. We arrived after a leisurely 9 1/2 hour drive at the reasonable hour of about 6 p.m. This is quite a switch from the trip my husband and I normally make from our home to Maine in a single, marathon drive...leaving in the wee hours of the morning and arriving at dusk with a numb backside and still reeling from the road.

At Ad's house we met his new friend, Cynthia. I was delighted to meet this fine woman who apparently is his new girlfriend. Now, I wonder when Cosmo and GQ are going to get on board with the "dating in your 80's" articles? Anyhow, Ad and Cynthia look to be a fine match with mutual interests and a comfortable manner. They both live in the same retirement area and each knew the other's spouses (now both deceased) and both Ad and Cynthia were in the same group for spouses of terminal patients, so have that in common as well.

We left quickly for a wonderful dinner at the Apollo Restaurant which is in an old warehouse near downtown East Hampton. This year East Hampton is hosting the Bear Festival and have a number of adorable painted bears situated all over the city. Much like the bulls in Chicago, the big apples in the Big Apple, and the Mermaids on Parade in my hometown of Norfolk, the bears were painted by local artists and are on display until being auctioned off. http://easthamptonbearfest.com/photos/ Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures of the bears on display, but you can follow the link for more info.

The next morning, Father's Day, we met Adison's son, David, at Sylvester's in North Hampton for a nice brunch. http://www.sylvestersrestaurant.com/sylvesters.html Sylvester's is the home of a former minister and proponent of vegetarian diet from the 19th century, Sylvester Graham. Also father of the graham cracker he was apparently a nutritionist ahead of his time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvester_Graham

Adison and David Cate at Sylvester's.

Marilin, Adison, Cynthia and Maureen on the streets of North Hampton.

We left North Hampton about 10 to drive into Boston to pick up another roommate, Kathy, who was visiting sons Carter and Brian who live in the city. After a successful rendezvous we were off to the Maine woods.

Independence Greetings

Awoke to beautiful blue skies. Am enjoying a little Breakfast at Wimbledon watching the Williams sisters do what they do best. Plotting a trip on a local lake with the kayak later after my sweet baboo returns from morning rounds. Rain is supposed to hold off until after midnight, so it's a day in the sun, on the lake, and in the garden.

Plucked four nice yellow squash off the vines yesterday. Cukes, peppers and tomatoes still too small and need just a bit more incubation time. Also still need to deer-proof the tomatoes. Yeah, I know they're pretty and you all saw Bambi and all that, but if they don't leave my 'maters alone I'm going Rambo on their cute little asses. Now THAT will be some fireworks.

Happy Independence Day

Happy 4th of July folks. May your day be filled with good friends and good food and a safe fireworks viewing.