Beth - Memorial comments

A friend of mine sent me one of those “cute things kids say” columns for Mother’s Day this year. It has excerpts from the internet on “Why God made moms”. There were questions like, “Why did God make mothers?” (She’s the one who knows where the scotch tape is and mostly to clean the house.) How did God make mothers? (He used dirt. He made her just like me, but He used bigger parts, etc.) What ingredients are mothers made of? (Clouds and angel hair and everything nice…and one dab of mean.) Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom? (We’re related.) It ended with a classic line that defined my own mother-in-law. What does your Mom do in her spare time? (Mothers don’t do spare time.)

Oh, how that last line exemplifies Beth Williams. There was no such thing as spare time in her remarkable life. Beth was both a planner and a doer. It seemed to me that she got up before dawn and gave the rooster a little nudge to get him up and at ‘em and she tucked the chickens in late at night before putting her house in order, maybe canning up a peck of something or another and just squeezing in a couple of hands of cards (which she often won) or maybe a round or two of charades before calling it a day.

She went cheerfully about her day with such purpose. She took everything in stride, welcomed each moment in life as a gift; an opportunity to do good. Whether it was scrubbing the bathroom or performing a favor for a friend or calling someone on the prayer line she approached every activity with enthusiasm, happiness and dedication.

Beth had plans. She was always planning something. I often said she missed her calling, that she should have been a summer camp director. If you had the great pleasure of seeing her in action up in Maine with the grandkids you would be astounded at her ability to entertain and organize this ragtag group of 7 kids whose ages spanned 11 years, not to mention her own children. The second we hit Maine she was soliciting suggestions from the kids on who wanted to do what. Each grandchild got a special day to choose the family activity. One would choose a trip to the shore, another a special treat of lunch at the dock. Also included in the mix of activities were favorite hikes like Sabbatus, Tire’m and Jockey’s Cap. A trip (or two) to Shaner’s for ice cream was another favorite.

The kids had more than just fun planned. She made up a chores chart and carefully included each child according to his or her ability to reach, hold or maneuver. Older kids were in charge of the dishes because they could reach the sink while younger, smaller ones might have floors to sweep or dusting to do. They all pitched in…sometimes even willingly. Beth was the organizer, planner and engine behind all the wonderful activities they had up in Maine. She planned for it all year. If you ever saw them leaving for a Maine expedition you would have thought that Lewis and Clark should have been so well prepared.

She had the travel down to a science as well. It was a two day drive from St. Joseph to Maine, so all the kids had one “overnight” backpack with essentials and their suitcases were all stuffed in the back of the van, never to see the light of day until the car reached its final destination. That backpack held whatever the kids needed for two days of travel. The night before their trip the kids slept in their travel clothes so all they needed to do was to get up and brush teeth and hop in the car. She ran a tight ship.

On the road, Beth had activities planned for the kids at rest stops. Lunch was often packed so all they had to do was to find a rest stop, get out the food and the toys and go about their business. The kids were encouraged to eat, get a little exercise and then hop aboard the train, ‘cause it was pulling out.

As the kids grew older her planning changed. She moved on from just doing hikes and shore excursions to activities that were farther afield. I was able to take one memorable trip with her. to Prince Edward Island in Canada to visit all of the Anne of Greene Gables sights. She, of course, had planned well. Having talked with neighbors at the cabin she got the name of a working farm bed and breakfast where she booked our stay. The girls so enjoyed the farm, complete with kittens and a new calf in the barn, they were almost as content to stay at the farm as they were to go visit the sights. She arranged in advance for tickets to the Anne of Green Gables play in Charlottetown, which event was the hit of the trip. She mapped out our tour of the island, making sure we hit all the Anne highlights there were.

The kids hiked part of the Appalachian Trail, they went on a whale watching trip and to a wolf preserve near Boston, a ferry to Monhegan Island and the puffins, and they traveled over to the Trapp Family Inn in Vermont. Each year, Beth planned a special excursion. She had the date fixed and would write out instructions for the kids as to what they were to pack and how long to expect to be on the road, but didn’t tell them where they were going. I think they had as much fun guessing the adventure as they did going…well almost as much fun.

Our Beth was a great planner. One thing that I am certain she had planned was the afterlife. Homegoing, homecoming, death…whatever you choose to call it. Beth was a true believer. A strong and devoted Christian her entire life, Beth had faith in her Lord, her Savior and life everlasting. She was not a Johnny-come-lately to Jesus. She was a fulltime, lifetime believer and was happy to share her faith with all she encountered. She touched lives.

I read a joke recently. A banker arrives at the Pearly Gates carting this huge, heavy suitcase. He gets to the front of the line, sets down his suitcase and St. Peter says, “I don’t know what you’re hauling there, Mister, but you can’t bring anything in here.” The banker, distraught, looks up and says, “But it’s my life’s work. I spent so much time and effort to get all this. I just can’t let it go.” So, St. Peter kindly says, “Well, open the suitcase and let’s see what you have that’s so important.” The relieved banker opens the suitcase and St. Peter sees that it is stuffed to the brim with gold bricks…hundreds of them. The banker is beaming. St. Peter looks at him quizzically and says, “You brought pavement??” Well, Mom didn’t bring pavement to the Pearly Gates. She brought the love of all who knew her; all of the people whose lives she had touched. We are all better people for it.

I don’t know if ice cream and chocolate are available in the afterlife, but if they weren’t already, then my guess is that Mom is making plans.

Beth Greiner Williams

My mother-in-law, Beth Greiner Williams, died peacefully in her sleep early this morning. Brother-in-law, Rob, called us at a little after 6:00 a.m. to deliver the news. She had daughter Linda and niece Mary Mitchell in with her. Rob and his family were getting some much needed sleep. Funeral arrangements are still pending. There will likely be a memorial service in St. Louis. Burial will be at West Point with her beloved husband of more than 50 years, Murray. It may not be for a little while as it takes some time to schedule the services there. Murray Jr., a West Point grad like his father, is very familiar with the ins and outs of Army red tape, so will be making all those arrangements. Would like to do something up in Maine with the family. It was such a special place for her. The only year she missed going up there since 1965 was the year that Murray was terminally ill.

Beth was a planner. In fact as early as last Tuesday she was planning dinner at a local Italian restaurant and a side trip to WalMart to pick up a few things. That was the night that her legs had given out and her left side was rendered virtually useless, but our Beth had plans! She was a wonder and a wonderful person.

Born in Riga, Latvia, she had travel in her blood. Her father went around Europe setting up YMCA's in various countries. In fact his work was not confined to just Europe, they also spent some time in China later. Beth and her sister Jean (also deceased - in 2007 from Parkinson's) were both born in Latvia. I learned only recently that English is Beth's second language. Although she was born into an American family she spoke German for much of her first years, learning English when the family moved to the States when she was 7 years old.

When the family was in China she, her sister, and mother had to be evacuated during the Japanese invasion, much like what was shown in the movie, Empire of the Sun.

The family eventually settled in White Plains, NY. Beth and sister Jean attended school there. Both went to Mt. Holyoke College in Massachusetts. Beth still attended annual reunions with some of her old college friends from Holyoke.

Beth met a handsome young redheaded man at a college dance, Murray Williams. They were married on December 27th, 1949. Murray was a fairly new West Point grad and I think their honeymoon consisted of a whole weekend before having to report to some duty station or another. Beth handled that with the grace that showed throughout her life.

The four children were born over a period of about 10 years. Murray Jr. came first in '50 or '51. A few years later John arrived in '54. Linda followed about 1957 and the baby, Rob just hit 50 years this year, so was born in 1959. Little did Beth know, but when she left the older boys in charge of the younger kids when she and Murray had a date night, Murray and John would put Linda and Rob on their shoulders and have chicken fights. They also would mount a net to her teak dining table and play table tennis on it. I would bet good money on her suspecting some shenanigans, but she could never get them to 'fess up...at least while they were young. If you were to ask me who the instigator was in all of this I'd have to say that I'm probabaly married to him. John shares his mom's sense of fun.

Beth missed her calling. She should have been a camp counselor. In fact, she likely felt that she was when the kids were young. When we went to Maine she had everything planned out...lots and lots of activities. She wanted to know what day we wanted to climb Sabbatus, Tir'em, and Jockey's Cap; what day we wanted to have the sailboat races on the lake. She planned an annual birthday party for some time during the month they spent in Maine and had lots of fun activities for that day. There was always a scavenger hunt (a ploy she worked out to send the kids running up and down the road, and up and down the hill to the water front in an attempt to tire them out for later). She always had treasures for the kids to find at the end of the scavenger hunt. The only year that failed was the year they did the parable of the burning bush and one of the uncles accidentally set fire to the barrel that had the gifts in it. (No, you light the fire AFTER the kids have found the toys!) That was probably 10 years ago and Beth still laughed when describing the long faces on the cousins as they poked through the remains of the fire looking for any kind of a trinket. The birthday celebration day also had the annual balloon pop competition as well as a pinata most years. The woman knew how to plan a good time.

The best thing about her was her loving, gentle manner and her quick laugh. She was a very happy person. Upbeat, she didn't give you long to sit and mope. There were too many things to get out and get done. A devout Christian, she lived a good, honest life with a sincere devotion to God that few have. She was not planning to die this soon, I'm sure of that. But, she had planned her entire life for the afterlife and I do hope she is reaping the rewards of that planning. I picture her reunited with Murray Sr. now. If God didn't plan for chocolate and ice cream in the afterlife, I'll just bet he's getting a suggestion from someone I know and love right this minute. Rest in peace, Beth. You were a great wife, mother and mother-in-law. I wish everyone could have known you.

Beth

Talked to Rob today. Beth is still comatose. Her breathing is growing more shallow, but she is still breathing. Rob kindly put the phone up to her ear and I had the chance to tell her I love her and that the best thing I could hope for Christine is that she have a mother-in-law who is just like Beth. She has been wonderful in so many ways.

And now she's worse...

Today's email from brother-in-law, Rob reads,

Mom is not waking up this morning- she is resting comfortably, but did vomit during the night and has vomited again as we were working with her. the hhnurse is calling the docotr and will call back. there's a lot going on now. Ashley and Hannah are awesome. Cindy is coming. Tim, please call Linda and update her. Les, I tried to use John's pager #, but may not have been successful. I'm not calling 911 bc she seems to be comfortable.

So double shit. Comatose is not a good progression. I really, really hate this.